I must not
by E-J99
Summary: Stuff i must not do in the inheritance world. It helps with my writers block and I'm writing the stories behind them. I'm not doing them in order though. : CHAPTER 3 now up : . Rated T cause i rate everything T to be safe :D
1. I must not

Insanity has hit again….

**I must not**

Test Nasuada's 'mental strength' by creating a theme tune and singing it nonstop.

Tell her she failed miserably when she gets mad and attempts to kill you.

Ask Orik to tie your shoelace, after all he _is_ closer to it.

Get offended when he hits your thigh with his hammer, he _was _originally aiming for your stomach.

Shout; "Go Eragon!" When the new Dragon egg hatches for Arya.

Tell her to lighten up when she sends a bolt of lightning your way.

Interrupt an E/A magic moment by singing "can't touch this" complete with actions and bum slapping.

Follow Angela around and occasionally bonging one of her curls then pointing to Eragon.

Follow Eragon around and tell everyone that he meets : "I taught him everything he knows"

Mouth "she could tap that" every time Arya and Eragon meet.

Teach Eragon the song 'she wants it' by 50 cent and tell him that it's a love song.

Advise him to sing afore mentioned song to Arya.

Declare the she ain't that into rap when he returns missing an eyebrow and smoking slightly.

Replace all of Nasuada's daggers with plastic ones.

Blame the lack of suitable weapons on Eragon by explaining how he though she was emo.

Break down in tears when Arya rejects Eragon again, even though Saphira and unnamed green dragon are getting it on. You are impartial dammit!

Proclaim your undying love towards Murtagh in the middle of the Varden

Laugh when Nasuada looks uncomfortable and shout out "Don't try and hide it Nasuada, I can spot a fellow suffer miles away."

Tell Saphira that blue really isn't her colour, it makes her bum look big.

Shout: GALBATORIX! While jumping up and down and pointing at the sky, they don't take it well, even if it is a joke……

I'm going to use some of them and make them into mini stories :P

It helps with the ol' writers block.

Ciao x


	2. Too many Doctors

This is to help my writers block :)

**I must not**

Test Nasuada's 'mental strength' by creating a theme tune and singing it nonstop.

Tell her she failed miserably when she gets mad and attempts to kill you.

I sneaked round the back of the main tent humming softly to myself.

Dun da da **dun dun .**dun da da **dun dun** dun da da **duun**. Da da da da **duuuun.**

I shook my head and crouched on the floor.

Crap. A twig beneath my food was pulverized.

**Y.m.c.a** it's fun to stay at the…….

Hmm, I shook my head again. It just didn't feel right.

I heard movement in the tent and picked out a shadow that I guessed was my victim. Or should I say student?

**Dun dun** da da **dun dun** da da **dun dun** da da **dun dun** da da (MISSION IMPOSSIBLE)

I shook my head again, it had to be perfect.

I stood up, catching sight of a soldier walking my way and ran behind a tent that allowed me to see the opening of hers.

Were these people not worried about security at all?

I sighed and waited. Concentrating on finding the perfect song, it seemed an impossible task.

Then it hit me.

The perfect theme tune.

The one that people recognized everywhere. (Although I'm not to sure about Alagaesia.)

I closed my eyes and smiled….

This was going to be good.

Nasuada and Eragon were taking a walk away from the Varden. I had heard their discussion and I knew that Eragon had managed to convince her guards she would be safe with him.

I mean what kind of Dragon rider couldn't protect one person?

Eragon, apparently.

I walked in the trees that ran alongside them, making sure I was hidden and being as quiet as possible.

I started humming very softly.

Eragon turned around looking confused then shook his head and turned back to Nasuada.

I smiled and raised the volume a bit.

Eragon kept his eyes determinedly ahead.

Was his mind playing tricks on him?

No just me.

My smile widened and the volume increased.

I was now pretty sure that Nasuada could hear it as she also looked around in my direction, well she was off a bit but it was close enough.

I closed my eyes and sang the song from the depth of my heart.

Priceless.

Eragon whipped round drawing his sword but the quick maneuver caused him to over balance and he began to topple. Panicking he grabbed onto Nasuada trying to find a purchase that would hold him up right. Little did he know, they didn't make dresses like that in those days. The dress ripped and Nasuada shrieked and landed on top of him. I laughed then left. Angry half naked people were not my forte but I'd be sure to tell people that I had seen Eragon and Nasuada in the forest looking……distinctly ruffled.

* * *

I walked around the Varden waiting for Nasuada to appear when I caught a glimpse of her going into the healing tent. I smiled in anticipation. I crept through the front of the tent, surprised that nobody had tried to stop me. I mean seriously? We were in the middle of a war! Although I think people may be to scared to do anything.

Oh well, it works.

I shrugged and walked behind the clothe partition that separated the very sick from the ' my -wife- said- she- didn't- want- to- go -to -the- cook- so -she- decided -to -use -the- meat- and -cook- it- herself- did -I- mention- she- couldn't -cook?' Nasuada was avoiding those ones so I stuck close. She stopped by an old man who had lost his leg. I felt sorry for him and decided to wait awhile before beginning to sing.

This wasn't going to plan.

I felt sorry for everyone who was lying in the beds and couldn't bring myself to distract Nasuada when she was being so nice and helpful. That is until she walked over to talk to the healers that weren't doing anything. I positioned myself carefully so I would be in ear shot but I could also run away easily. I wasn't getting caught yet.

I peered around the cloth as I began to hum.

As soon as Nasuada heard it she jumped and turned around obviously recognizing it from earlier in the day during her 'walk.'. The healers watched her anxiously as she turned back to them, I didn't blame them at all. Nasuada was developing a twitch in her left eye.

I smiled to myself and began to hum louder.

This time Nasuada ignored it but her hands wee clenched into fists. I decided to let her stew for a while. Still humming I walked out of the tent and waited for her to exit.

* * *

I crouched down in my original position. As soon as Nasuada left she had hurried straight over to her tent, a minute later and Arya and Eragon arrived. Eragon looking upset and Arya….angry? Weird.

I listened closely to what they were saying but I couldn't hear much as people were sparring nearby. I scowled in frustration. I needed to know if they were on to me. Creeping quietly I edged round to the side of the tent. It really was stupid to _only_ protect the front. Sighing and still unable to hear anything I began to hum, positive that Eragon and his amazingly sensitive ears would hear me. Still humming I listened harder waiting for a reaction.

Nothing.

I began singing louder straining to hear any noise from inside the tent.

Nothing.

I frowned and began humming as loudly as I could while staying semi-discreet.

Nothing.

What was wrong with these-?

Oops.

I smiled guiltily at Eragon who was dragging me towards the tent. I hadn't done anything wrong but I still felt bad. Okay maybe I shouldn't have but it was fun. I was thrown in front of Arya and the women herself.

Nasuada.

Play it cool.

"So how are we all this fine day?" I guess it didn't help that it was raining but I didn't think they would notice the rain. One look at their faces proved me wrong. They definitely saw the rain.

"uhhhhh?"

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't hang you!?!"

Nasuada glowered at me. One good reason? I could think of a few….

"You can't hang me for singing?"  
Her mouth opened and closed reminding me of a fish.

Got her.

"Why were you following Nasuada and singing then?"

Arya now. Was nobody on my side?

"I was..uh… testing her mental strength."

I smiled proud of my excuse. Eragon looked confused, Nasuada looked angry and Arya looked as if she knew what I was talking about.

Huh.

"You…you..were…testing.. my ….mental strength?"

Nasuada's cheeks reddened and her eyes were narrowed and she spluttered at me. She looked mad.

"Uh yeah."

I began humming again glad that I could sing without hiding, (Doctor who theme tune)

when, to my surprise, Nasuada charged up to me, drew her dagger from her bodice and held it against my neck.

"STOP!"

I stopped. That girl is scary. Not scary enough though.

"Yeah you failed….miserably."

She yelled in frustration. "You are not allowed to sing that song ever again!"

My eyes widened and shock froze my body. " But it's Doctor-!!!"

Nasuada interrupted me with a loud "NO!"

I didn't even realize that she had removed the dagger.

I smiled understanding.

Doctor No.

Someone was a James bond fan.

Finis

As always read, review, inspire.

Ciao x


	3. Dung beetles

If you are annoyed at me because you are waiting for the next _**Arya's empire**_ chapter have no fear!!

I have written it but there is a problem with my e-mail so my beta can't get the chapter back to me.

As soon as technical difficulties are resolved then it will be posted :D

Shout; "Go Eragon!" When the new Dragon egg hatches for Arya.

Tell her to lighten up when she sends a bolt of lightning your way.

This one isn't funny to anyone but me. :)

Also I have no idea what the plural to elf and dwarf is.

It's probably dwarfi or something.

I hope you can look past my artistic shortcomings.

* * *

The entire group held it's breath as one and it seemed as if the world itself had stopped. The congregation watched in awe as cracks appeared, streaking down the smooth surface. Every pair of eyes appeared to be captivated by the unparalleled beauty and mystique of the show that ensued before them.

That's what attracted me anyway.

I walked forward slowly trying to be inconspicuous. I didn't really need to try – the entire varden insisting on watching Arya making a spectacle of herself. I mean did she really have to get the egg to hatch while holding an audience officially welcoming her queen and people.

No she didn't.

She didn't really need to unveil the egg so dramatically either.

Or flinch when the queen hugged her.

Now everyone is going to know she's royalty.

I couldn't help but to let out a short gasp to emphasise my feelings.

Jeez get over it.

There are worse things to be.

Like a dung beetle.

Actually I'd kinda like to be a dung beetle.

All they do is push crap all day.

Some poor people have it spewing out their mouths.

I know with one I'd choose.

Push, Push, smoosh, Push, Push—

I squealed lightly as the mass of pressing bodies let out a small breath in unison. Sliding through the bodies and smiling brightly I passed it off as excitement before dropping my face back into an unsatisfied scowl.

After all as soon as the dragon hatched all we would hear would be the endless admiration of the new dragon and his rider.

The way her raven locks tumbled against his glistening scales.

The way the natural green armor reflected her very nature.

The elf personified.

I clasped my hands to my chest.

Oh joy.

An ear splitting screech crashed through the night as the egg fractured completely. The high pitched scream flooded through my mind Clearing it and planting new thoughts. I stood dazed for a moment as the full repercussions of today's events nestled in my mind.

Oh joy indeed.

I ran forward pushing rigid after rigid body as more screeches echoed in the cool air.

I was running against a force greater than me, greater than anything I had ever encountered but I had to make it. Fear shot down on me as I considered what would happen if I didn't make it- I stumbled momentarily in response before pushing myself and any negative thoughts out of my head.

I had to make it.

The bodies moved more willingly now almost as if they were possessed by the same urgency as me, except their job was to assist me. Non-existent sweat filmed my skin as I pushed myself to the precipice of speed limitation.

I smiled triumphantly.

I was going to make it.

I pried myself in between the two large men at the front of the raised platform just as a green light blinded me. I staggered back holding my hair down to avoid ruffling-I had to look my best for this one.

I saw a small bundle of green clutched in Arya's arms.

I took a moment to savor her expression.

Shocked, confused and happy.

Oh yes happy.

We all know what is now possible.

What is now unfrownable down upon.

We all smile brightly everyday at just the thought.

I put on my best PR smile. "Go Eragon!"

The varden moved as one, well almost Nasuada was a bit behind, and stared at me confused.

I smiled again before climbing up the small platform and pushing through the various heads that made up the varden elite.

I knew I would make a good dung beetle.

All that pushing.

I stood in front of the entire varden ignoring Eragon's glare, Nasuada's twitch and Arya's confusion.

All in good time my pretties.

All in good time.

I stood gazing down at them imperiously before reaching into my pocket and pulling it out of my pocket. Making sure I had everyone's attention I slowly began to unfold it.

Twitch.

Unfold.

Twitch.

Unfold.

Twit—shake.

That will do poor girl.

I have my speech.

I smiled at Nasuada before returning my attention to my expectant audience.

"Varden, elves, urgals and dwarves. You look upon me with doubt in your eyes. Why does she shout out Eragon's name over the brave elf who stands by me. I will tell you why!"

My eyes darkened as a fire blazed inside.

The entire congregation froze hanging on to my every word with bated breath.

I squealed loudly and threw my scrap of paper away dramatically.

"Eragon and Arya can finally get together!"

There was a moment of silence as my words permeated their war-ridden brains. I turned smiling throwing my eyes over Eragons red face, Queen Izlanzadi's shocked façade- we all saw it coming- until I came eye to eye with the elf herself.

"Hey Ar-"

A green jet shot towards me at a frightening pace. Her reaction had glued me to the spot. Her face was twisted into fury and I felt rage simmer over as the green light zoomed towards me.

"Lighten up Arya!" I shouted just as the light slammed into my chest. "Excuse the pun!" I screamed as the jet infiltrated my body. "Excuse the------"

* * *

I walked through the tents slowly using the time alone to re-organise my thoughts. Today had not gone as planned but whether that was a good or bad thing I was unsure. I kicked leaves with my soft slippers until I spotted something white fluttering in the breeze. Curious I ran towards it determined to catch it before it was blown away. My hand snapped out just as a particularly hard gust of wind swirled through the air. My hand clenched tight on the soft object as I waited for it to pass. My hair settled and my hand opened. Cupped inside my hand was a small piece of paper covered in wrinkles. Turning it over I read the smooth writing that was printed neatly in black.

_It's rude to look where you don't belong Ada._

_Try and work this one out._

_It may just test your mental strength._

I screamed in frustration all thoughts centered on the girl that lay in the healers tent. My body shook with uncontrollable anger and a slight twitch began in my eye…

"That little BIT-"

* * *

C'EST FINIS.

Not as good as the first but the sequels are never as good. :)

I am in the habit of just making up words. I did cut out a few. I thought that would explain a few things. :P

As always read, review inspire.

Ciao x


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